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NaUgHtY QuOteS<<<<<<<<<
Love Poems and Quotes!
To Mah Friends!
FuNnY StUfF

PoEmS

 
 
 
 
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I‘ll come at 12
And i‘ll fu$$ u
We‘ll have some fun
U won‘t regret
And U will ask
"How do u do that?"
I‘ll lay u down
Undress u all
Put on a crown
And make u bow
By 1:15 u‘ll be the king
And I will do the little thing
That‘ll make u beg my ass for more
And u will ask
"How can u shake that all?"
1:35 I‘m almost done
now it‘s my turn to have some fun
What can u show me? What can u do?
Thal will make me scream "Whoo–hoo!!!!!!!"
2:25 now let me
"Am i the best bitch in a world?"
 
 

Sitting on my lazy arse
I drift into a daydream,
Thinking 'bout you fully smothered
From head to toe in chocolate cream.

I get this thought every day and night
And wonder when it would stop.
But I can't help thinking what it'll be like
If there was a cherry placed on top!

**********

Sixpence
sing a song of sixpence,
a pocket full of pus,
4 and 20 homo's climb upon a bus,
when the bus began to move
they all began to sing
who's the dirty faggot
with his finger up me ring

**********

His dick is most surely a dilly,
A grand and marvellous Willie.
His gal loves to give head,
But most often instead,
He ends by just screwing her silly.
My back aches, my pussy is sore;
I simply can't screw any more.
I'm covered with sweat,
And you haven't come yet,
And gosh, it's a quarter to four!

 

 
 

***************
There once was a girl from Sri Lanka,
Whose puss was as big as a tanker.
You could go for a swim
In the depths of her quim
And you needed a lamppost to wank her.

***************
There was a young sailor from Brighton
Who remarked to his girl, "You're a tight one."
She replied, "Don my soul,
You're in the wrong hole
There's plenty of room in the right one."

***************
There was a young man from Pitlocherie,
Making love to his girl in the rockery.
She said look you've cum,
All over my bum,
This isn't a shag it's a mockery.

***************
Were you a more elegant chap,
I'd ask to sit down on your lap
Cross-legged, like a swami
For 'hide the salami',
But it seems that you're ill with the clap!

***************
There once was a man named Mort,
Whose dick was incredibly short.
When he climbed into bed
His lady friend said,
"That's not a dick it's a wart!"

***************
There was a young harlot from Kew
Who filled her vagina with glue.
She said with a grin,
"If they pay to get in,
They'll pay to get out of it, too."

 

***************
There once was a man from St. Clair,
Who slipped it to his wife on the stair.
With one mighty stroke,
The banister broke,
And he finished his job in the air.

***************
There was a young fellow named Goody.
Who claimed that he wouldn't, but would he?
If he found himself nude,
With a gal in the mood,
The question's not would he, but could he?

***************
A kinky young girl from Coles hill,
Tried a dynamite stick for a thrill.
They found her vagina,
In North Carolina,
And bits of her tits in Brazil.

***************
There was a young lassie from Morton,
Who had one long tit and one short 'en.
On top of all that,
A great hairy twat,
And a fart like a six fifty Norton.

***************
There once was a man from Cheyenne,
Of women, he was a fan,
But they thought "Damn he's fat,"
"I'm not touching that!"
So he had to rely on his hand.

***************
Said a woman with open delight,
"My pubic hair's perfectly white.
I admit there's a glare,
But the fellows don't care.
They locate it more quickly at night."

 

***************
There once was a girl from Sri Lanka,
Whose puss was as big as a tanker.
You could go for a swim
In the depths of her quim
And you needed a lamppost to wank her.

***************
There was a young sailor from Brighton
Who remarked to his girl, "You're a tight one."
She replied, "Don my soul,
You're in the wrong hole
There's plenty of room in the right one."

***************
There was a young man from Pitlocherie,
Making love to his girl in the rockery.
She said look you've cum,
All over my bum,
This isn't a shag it's a mockery.

***************
Were you a more elegant chap,
I'd ask to sit down on your lap
Cross-legged, like a swami
For 'hide the salami',
But it seems that you're ill with the clap!

***************
There once was a man named Mort,
Whose dick was incredibly short.
When he climbed into bed
His lady friend said,
"That's not a dick it's a wart!"

***************
There was a young harlot from Kew
Who filled her vagina with glue.
She said with a grin,
"If they pay to get in,
They'll pay to get out of it, too."

 

***************
There was a Young Man named Mac Nair
Who buggered his Wife on the Stair.
The banister Broke...
...Without missing a Stroke
He Finished her off in Mid-Air.

***************
There once was a lady from Reno
Who lost all her cash playing keno.
So she laid on her back
Opened her crack
And now she owns the casino!

***************
There was a young woman named Croft
Who played with herself in a loft,
Having reasoned that candles
Could never cause scandals,
Besides which they never went soft.

***************
There was a young lady named Mandel
Who caused quite a neighbourhood scandal
By coming out bare
On the main village square
And massaging herself with a candle.

***************
There was a young man from Peru
Who fell asleep in his canoe
While dreaming of Venus
He whipped out his penis
And woke up with a handful of goo!

***************
There was a young lady from China,
Who had an enormous vagina,
And when she was dead,
They painted it red,
And used it for docking a liner.

 

Oral sex is mighty fine lick me suck me 69,
in a bush or in a bed either way I want some head!
Don't be shy have a try
goes in easy comes out greasy

***************
Mary had a little bike
She rode it back to front
And every time she pulled the brake
The seat went up her cunt

***************
Old mother Hubbard
Went to the cupboard
To give her poor dog a bone
When she bent over Rover took over
And gave her a bone of his own

***************
There was a young lady from France
Who got on the bus in a trance
Everyone fucked her
Apart from the conductor
But he came twice in his pants

***************
There was a young man from Nantucket
Whose cock was so long he could suck it
He said with a grin
As he whipped off his chin
If my ear were a cunt id fuck it

***************
There once was a man named Ray
Who fashioned a cunt out of clay
But the heat of his prick
Turned the clay into brick
And tore all his foreskin away

***************
Jack and Jill went up the hill
And planned to do some kissing
Jack madea pass
And grabbed her ass
And now two of his teeth are missing

***************
Hickory dickory clock
Some chick was sucking my cock
The clock struck two
I blew my goo
And dropped the bitch off at the next block

***************
I like em in frills
I like em in lace
But i like ems best
When there on me face

***************
A horny young lady named Lil
fucked a dynamite stick for a thrill
They found her vagina
in north Carolina
and bits of her tits in Brazil

***************
There was a young lass from Macbeth,
who use to pull foreskins back with her teeth,
it wasn't for money or anything funny ,
it was just for the cheese underneath...

***************
Roses are straight
Violets are twisted
Bend over, love
You're about to get fisted.

 

***************

Oral sex can be so fine. when you do a 69.
you start to shake moan & quiver.
then u cum just like a river
then you lick it up in vain
wipe ur lips and start again!

***************

Let it dribble let it flow.
flip me over go real slow.
slap me hard then pick up speed.
a right good fuck is what I need!

***************

There was a young girl from down wick
who asked her mum what is a prick.
she said oh Annie it goes up your fanny
and jumps up & down till its sick!

***************
Back to back front to front.
on the table lick her cunt.
stick it in do your thing.
do it hard & make her sing.
tense your body feel the cum
then let it rip into her bum!

 

***************
Some fannies are tight & fit like a glove.
Some fannies r loose & no good 2 love.
but the way 4 lovin & keeping you fitter
is Rollin her over & bangin her shitter

***************
Love me tender love me sweet
wrap your lips around my meat.
watch & smile watch me grin
watch your cum drip down my chin!

***************
kneel before him suck him slow.
oh his c*ck is nice 2 blow.
up n down along his knob.
nice & gentle with your gob.
suck & lick his lovely prick
and when he cums swallow quick

***************
Beat me eat me bite my bum.
whip me strip me make me cum.
suck me fuck me and lick me out.
then tickle my nipples until I shout!

***************
She's down on her knees eager to please
with a throb of his nob in her gob.
With a tingle in his belly
his legs turn to jelly
cos she's doing a fuckin good job!

 


 

***************
Oral sex can be so fine. when you do a 69.
you start to shake moan & quiver.
then u cum just like a river
then you lick it up in vain
wipe your lips and start again!

***************
roses are straight violets are twisted.
bend over love your about to get fisted.
roses make me laugh violets make me titter.
your a dirty c**t & you love it up the shitter

***************
Eat me beat me bite me blow me.
suck me fuck me very slowly.
if you kiss me don 't be sassy
use your tongue and make it nasty!

***************
Let it dribble let it flow.
flip me over go real slow.
slap me hard then pick up speed.
a right good fuck is what I need!

***************
There was a young girl from down wick
who asked her mum what is a prick.
she said oh Annie it goes up your fanny
and jumps up & down till its sick!

 

 

***************

Love me tender love me sweet
wrap your lips around my meat.
watch & smile watch me grin
watch your cum drip down my chin!

***************

kneel before him suck him slow.
oh his c*ck is nice 2 blow.
up n down along his knob.
nice & gentle with your gob.
suck & lick his lovely prick
and when he cums swallow quick

***************

Beat me eat me bite my bum.
whip me strip me make me cum.
suck me fuck me and lick me out.
then tickle my nipples until I shout!

***************

She's down on her knees eager to please
with a throb of his nob in her gob.
With a tingle in his belly
his legs turn to jelly
cos she's doin a fuckin good job!

 

sKY IS BLUE
WATER IS WET
I'LL MAKE YOU Cum
I'LL MAKE YOU SWEAT
PRESSED AGAINST MY BODY
MOVIN' UP AND DOWN
SLOWLY BUT FIRMLY
WE WILL MOVE TO THE GROUND

**********

SEX IS LIKE MATHS
YOU SUBTRACT THE CLOTHES
ADD THE BED
DIVIDE THE LEGS
THEN MULTIPLY!!!!

**********

ROSES ARE RED
GRASS IS GREEN
OPEN YOUR LEGS
AND I'LL FILL
YOU WITH CREAM

**********

HICKORY DICKORY DOC
DIS BITCH WAS SUCKING ME COCK
THE CLOCK STRUCK TWO
ME DUMPED ME GOO
AND DUMPED HER AT DA
END OF THE BLOCK

**********

SEX IS GOOD
SEX IS FINE
DOGGY STYLE OR 69
JUST FOR FUN
OR GETTING PAID
EVERYONE LIKES
GETTING LAID

**********
SEX IS A TEMPTATION
CAUSED BY A SENSATION
WHEN A MAN PUTS HIS DICTATION
IN A WOMAN'S VENTILATION
DO YOU GET MY CONVERSATION?
OR DO YOU NEED A DEMONSTRATION

 

 

Roses are red,
Violets are corny,
When I think of you,
Oo0o Baby i get horny,
Eat me,
Beat me,
Bite me,
Blow me,
Suck me,
Fuck me,
Very slowly,
If you kiss me,
Dont be sassy,
Use your tongue and make it nasty!